Thankfully the days of the traditional looking sex toys are fading. Companies are now making bangles that double as handcuffs, necklaces that double as nipple clamps, chokers that become whips and the styles are beautiful. Some of the most exciting designs can be found at www.unboundbox.com and www.lovecrave.com. If you’re interested in hosting a “toy” party or just need some fun toys for yourself, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll be carrying sex toys online in the near future but in the interim, I can still hook you up 😉
As you probably know, I’m on a mission to de-stigmatize sex and there’s actually a growing movement towards this, which I am so happy about. The more I research different aspects of the sexual experience, the more people I’m coming across who are sexologists, sex therapists and others who, like myself, may lack the formal education but may have experienced sexual trauma, sexual dysfunction or have had other negative sexual experiences. For today, I’m focusing on sex toys, both for men and for women because we want our man to enjoy the experience as well.
I’ll go into more detail about the female orgasm another day but suffice it to say that there are several different types and we don’t all experience the same ones. Most women seem to respond more to clitoral orgasms, and there are wonderful toys available to help with that. Other women orgasm through penetration and there are certainly a bevvy of options in that regard. G-spot stimulators are sold on their own or some incorporate a clitoral stimulator as well for the most intense orgasms. Walk into any sex store, or go online to any sex shop and you’ll see a whole host of shapes and sizes. Some of them can actually look a little scary to be honest. LOL. For anal stimulation you can use a smaller vibrator if you’re just looking for some mild stimulation or you can use a more traditional dildo (they don’t vibrate) for a more intense experience and even orgasm. There are also butt plugs and anal beads and probes (which bend in all sorts of shapes) for the more adventurous.
There are nipple clamps that range from the milder, adjustable ones so you can change the intensity since we are different and even at different times of the month our tolerance changes. Other clamps are full on BDSM style and I wouldn’t recommend them unless you actually enjoy pain, in which case have at it and enjoy. Nipples can have a massive impact on your sexual experience and worth paying attention to.
Whips and floggers can be used lightly or more intensely … it’s entirely up to you, what your tolerance and preference are. There is a wide variety available for your pleasure.
Handcuffs range from basic “police style looking cuffs” to padded or leather cuffs. As mentioned above, some companies (such as Unbound.com make cuffs that look like jewellery). You need to try them on and get a feel for how comfortable they are on you so you can enjoy the experience. Whether you’re cuffed at the wrists together or cuffed to a bed, you want to be comfortable and just relax. There are other ways to be bound. You can use ropes, ties, pantyhose or tights for that matter. There are also flexible tapes you can purchase that can be cut to fit but most are not reusable.
Sometimes our man needs a little help or just wants to make sure he can last a long time. Since blood flow is the key to maintaining an erection, cock rings are fabulous and range from a very basic ring to a thicker ring with a vibrator which rests against his balls and provides stimulation for you.
Then there are strap-ons, which are great for same sex play (male or female) or if you want double penetration but you don’t want to enlist in the services of another man. Using a vibrator can get tricky so if your man uses a strap on, there no fumbling.
There are swings, pillows, leashes, collars and the list goes on and on …..
The best part of many sex toys is they can be used when you’re alone, used by yourself with a partner or your partner can control the toy. Just make sure you are comfortable with your partner and trust them if using toys, especially anything that binds you.
You may want, or need, to use lube with some toys, especially anything used for anal stimulation or penetration. If you missed the post, I talk about different types of lube here and I talk about anal sex here.
And always clean your toys with an appropriate cleaner available at any sex store. We want to have good, clean fun, not end up with an infection.
So there you have it. The list is so extensive that anything that you can think of to help stimulate is available. Enjoy your week, play safe and have a blast!!
Sandy O’Shea, CNP