When people ask how long I’ve been married I say “20 years”. They’re caught off guard when I say something to the effect of “when he said yes” when referring to the proposal. Yes … I proposed to my husband. The story goes like this ….
We had been together just over 2 years and living together for 8 months. A couple of days before Christmas, I was writing up my card to him. Our tradition is that we always write a personal note in any cards we give each other and we normally exchange cards on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day.
So I’m writing away, saying how much I love him, how special he is, how excited I am for the new year and … “will you marry me?”. Something took possession of my hand because I had zero intention of doing this. I had always said I didn’t want a long engagement but we were living together and I didn’t want to be just his girlfriend. Apparently I wanted to be his fiancée. So I sat back and looked at what I had written and had a decision to make. Keep it, give it to him and hope for the best (we were already planning to get married at some point in the future) or do I go out and buy a new card. Since it was only a couple of days before Christmas, I opted for the former.
Fast forward to Christmas Eve, we were attending church with the family because Barry’s nephew (born a week after we moved into together) was playing the baby Jesus. I managed to tell his mom what I was planning and she was really excited. Little did she really know what she was getting herself into with me as a daughter in law. J
After the service was done, we were driving home. We lived at Bayview and Sheppard in Toronto and there was a very heavy population of Jewish and Asian people. I say this only because that was the one day Barry decided to go for a drive looking at Christmas lights in our neighbourhood. They were in very short supply. Meanwhile, I’m so nervous (I can keep a confidence from someone else but don’t ask me to keep my own secret when it’s something like this but I managed) and I just wanted to get home and get this over with.
So we finally get home, get changed, grab a drink each (Barry, who never drinks much, had a long island iced tea) and sat down to exchange cards. He opened his, read my note, looked at me and asked “when?” (remember I didn’t want a long engagement). I said “whenever”. So he said yes and proceeded to down the entire drink in one guzzle then bounced off the walls for 3 days.
We got married 2 ½ years later and 20 years after that fateful day, we are still together and life just keeps getting better. Is life perfect? Of course not. Has it been without its bumps in the road and challenges? Not by a long shot. Has it been worth it? Absolutely!!
So what is the moral of this story? It has nothing to do with marriage and proposals. It has everything to do with going after what you want in life, taking the bull by the horns and if there’s something you want, ASK FOR IT!!!
I am by no means an expert on law of attraction although I fully believe in it. All I know is that you won’t get what you don’t ask for. So whether you’re asking the “Universe”, your significant other, your parent, your boss or anybody else, the answer will always be no if you don’t ask.
I encourage you to think about what you want in life. Is it a better sex life? A happier home life? A healthier, fitter body? A calmer mind? It all requires work but I promise you, if you put in the work, ask the questions and believe in your power, life will get better.
Have an awesome week and we’ll see you next time!
Sandy O’Shea, CNP