One thing that has been of utmost importance to me in the past couple of years is authenticity. Here’s why….
Most of my life I was told I was “too much” … too loud, centre of attention too much, talked too much … you get the point. Ultimately I became a people pleaser to the detriment of myself. Until about 7 years ago when I started working with my former coach and he called me on it. I protested but he was right. So I started to look deeper and started to value my own worth.
I guess I did a little too good of a job of it because I started being called selfish, self centered and narcissistic. This put me back a good while in my “recovery”. I’ve recently listened to “The Shadow Effect” by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. Chapters 44 and 45 were life changing for me. As Debbie talked about the topic of selfishness, I stood at my “meditation spot” at the lake by my home and wept. It hit me so hard … and I realized that I WAS NOT selfish. I get very focused sometimes on what I’m doing and tend to talk about it a lot because I’m excited, not because I’m not interested in others or don’t care. I’m working on getting better at asking questions instead of talking a lot.
To be honest, sometimes you HAVE to be a little “selfish”. It’s imperative that you take care of YOU first and foremost and I haven’t been doing that.
I also don’t wallow in pity parties. If you’re having a rough go of it of course I’m going to empathize with you but I won’t get “down in the mud” with you. I will always listen and try to lift you up. Because of this, I was called selfish.
I will no longer apologize for who I am and what I do. Most of what drives me to do the things I do is because I care about other people … their health, wellness and happiness. What you see is what you get with me. I make no apologies because this is who I am. You get my authenticity, which seems to be one of my strongest traits these days.
Your sex life … you need to be authentic in your sex life. If you LOVE sex and have a really high sex drive, go with it. If you’re kinky and love anal sex or multiple partners at the same time or same sex partners or being restrained or whatever … embrace it!! If you are more conservative, with less of a sex drive (and you’re ok with that) or don’t know WHAT you want, that’s okay too. Embrace it!!
If you truly want things to change, call me. If you’re happy where you are … rock on. But do it because that is what YOU want. Not what you were brought up to think. Not what your partner wants. Not what you THINK is appropriate. Embrace your inner slut, player or conservative sexuality. If someone wants you to try something new and you’re not sure, PLEASE expand your horizons. If you don’t like it, don’t do it again. But like food, don’t knock it until you try it ‘cause you never know whether you’re gonna be vanilla or rocky road 😉
Have an awesome day and always stay true to being YOUR authentic self.
Sandy O’Shea, CNP
Sex and Hormone Nutritionist
Stepping Stones Wellness