Anal Sex – Is it “normal” and is it safe?

Some women consider this a taboo subject and not really talked about. This is not exactly normal “girls night out” conversation, at least in most circles. Some women consider it “dirty”, some think it’s too kinky for them and others just can’t imagine inserting something THAT big into such a small, tight space.  In answer to my original question, yes it’s normal and yes it’s safe with a couple of qualifiers.

Have you ever been getting it on with a man and he “accidently” thrusts his penis into your butt? The pain can be unreal. Whether it’s accidental or not, done improperly, does not encourage a woman to repeat this action. It can also cause microscopic tears in the anus and rectum and subject you to infections. Done right however, it can be an amazing experience.

There are numerous things to consider when thinking about engaging in anal sex. First and foremost, who should you do this with and why? This is a totally individual decision. Some women are totally open to it and have experimented with fingers or toys and so for them, it may not matter whom they do it with, even casual encounters. For most women, there needs to be a level of trust with your partner. My best advice for your first time if you choose to go down this path, is to make sure you’re relaxed, use lots of lube (this is not negotiable and silicone is best for anal but be sure to check this article before purchasing your lube) and TAKE YOUR TIME! You will enjoy is so much more!

A lot of women are very hesitant to try it. What if your man has been pressuring you to try it? Do you reluctantly agree just to make him happy? That depends on whether you will approach this with an open mind. It’s so important to be relaxed for a happy experience. If you’re doing this just to shut him up, chances are pretty good you won’t enjoy it because you won’t be relaxed and therefore it’s most likely to hurt. But if you’re willing to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new, it can be an amazing experience. Some women orgasm during anal sex, others do not.

Whoever told you that size doesn’t matter is full of it when it comes to anal sex. A smaller penis is much easier to handle than a large one. A straight penis is more comfortable than a curved one. Ultimately YOU are the one who will decide whether you’ll have anal sex or not and if your partner can’t respect your decision not to, then you need to have a serious look at your relationship because there are issues that go much deeper than just sex.

Should you use a condom for anal sex? It’s a good idea and highly recommended if you don’t know the guy well. If you choose not to use a condom, just make sure he washes his penis right after and don’t have vaginal sex until he does so. If you’re using a condom, make sure he changes the condom or removes it prior to vaginal sex.

Do you have to worry about pooping during or after anal sex? You shouldn’t although I wouldn’t engage in it if you’re having any sort of digestive issues or if you haven’t had a bowel movement that day just to be on the safe side. What should you do if this happens? Don’t make a huge deal of it, clean up and move on.

Whether you engage in anal sex, like any other sexual act, has to be consensual. Unless you WANT to experiment, either for your own satisfaction or that of your partner, do NOT do it until you’re ready. You may never be ready and that is OK.

If you’d like to discuss this further or have any other questions about this or any other sexual health topic, please email me here.

Wishing you an awesome, healthy, sexy week.

Sandy O’Shea

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